It’s a somber weekend. For me. For many others who served. And especially for the families and friends of those who made the ultimate sacrifice.
I’m not going to lie and pretend I don’t enjoy a long weekend with friends and family—because I do. But I would trade it in a heartbeat to have my friends back. Like my good friend Rob Collins, who I last saw when his platoon was switching out with mine in Iraq.
Some veterans carry survivor’s guilt during this weekend—the feeling that maybe it should’ve, or could’ve, been them. It’s heavy. But we need that reminder. We need time set aside to honor those who never came home.
Last week, I flew back from Raleigh and sat next to a man wearing a KIA memorial bracelet. KIA stands for Killed in Action. These bracelets bear the name, rank, and unit of the fallen. I asked him about it. It was his son. An Army Green Beret who lost his life in Afghanistan. He was flying home from a memorial ceremony at Fort Liberty—with his grandson, the fallen soldiers son.
You could see the pain in his eyes. I felt it. The only thing I could muster up—without breaking down myself—was: I’m so sorry. He asked me if I served and told him yes. We shared a quiet moment and then he told me thank you.
Sitting there next to this father, I realized that his pain—and the pain of thousands of other Gold Star families—is something most of us will never fully understand. But we all understand loss in some form. We all know what it means to love someone. Life is fragile. And we so easily forget how much we have.
You never know the last time you’ll carry your child. The last time you’ll speak to your parents. The last time you’ll be with someone you love. Loss of loved ones is inevitable. Grief is universal.
I don’t have a big message here. I’m not an expert on grief. But I am learning how to be grateful.
To the fallen—and to the families they left behind—thank you.
Each year feels a little easier—and a little harder. Easier because my core materials are mostly built. Other than the occasional overhaul (which I’ll probably need to do again next year), the tweaks are minor. Harder because I now see more clearly what’s working and what’s not—and I’m always striving to make it better.
The curse of experience is realizing how much you don’t know. When you’re new, ignorance can feel like confidence. But once you’ve done it for a while, imposter syndrome starts whispering: They’re going to realize you don’t know what you’re doing.
As a non–tenure track professor, there’s not a lot of institutional scrutiny—no pressure to publish, no tenure committee. So the only “grades” I get are from one peer evaluation (in five semesters) and my end-of-semester student evaluations.
The Feedback Trap
If you’ve ever taught a class, you know how hard it is to get students to complete evaluations. It’s the last week of the semester—finals, presentations, burnout. Filling out a survey to help next semester’s students? Not high on the priority list.
But somehow, I usually get over 80% participation. Which, frankly, deserves its own award.
The two questions that actually go into your performance review:
Overall, the course was…
Overall, the instructor was…
Rated from Excellent to Very Unsatisfactory, scored from 5.0 to 1.0, respectively.
I’m proud of my instructor record so far: 4.7 average over 2.5 years—well above the university average.
And this semester? Over 70 students responded. The overwhelming majority said they loved the class. Meaningful feedback. Actionable suggestions. Strong praise. But what did I focus on?
You guessed it: The one student who marked me as a “Very Unsatisfactory” instructor.
And yeah—it got to me.
Why Do We Obsess Over the One?
It’s human nature, right? We could be surrounded by 96 people applauding, but the one heckler in the back is the voice that sticks.
That’s the voice imposter syndrome listens to. “See? They know. You’re not good enough.”
We let it fester. It alters our mood. Maybe even our actions. At work. At home. With the next class. But I caught it early this time.
I reminded myself: It’s not my job to make everyone happy. In fact, maybe the class wasn’t hard enough. Maybe I wasn’t pushing my students far enough.
Growth Hurts
I thought about one of the best professors I had at UT: Patrick Badolato. He teaches accounting—which, let’s be honest, isn’t exactly everyone’s favorite subject. But he made it compelling. Challenging. Real. I used to parrot him at parties just to sound smarter. Even if you don’t care about accounting, it’s critical to business. Not just for keeping the books—but because it’s the language of decision-making.
What I remember most isn’t how easy his class was. Because it wasn’t. It was hard—even for someone like me who loves numbers. But that challenge forced me to think differently. To get better.
Not everyone appreciates that. Some hate it. Because, well, they don’t want hard—they want an easy A. He has received way more “Very Unsatisfactory” ratings and negative comments. In fact, he wears them like a badge of honor and ends presentations with them.
The Balance Between Challenge and Burnout
I once asked Patrick how he balances challenging students with not turning them off completely. He teaches 20+ courses a year. He has won a teaching award every year over the past decade. Over 1,000 students a year, yet the man still somehow remembers my name. His answer?
“That’s the question I’ve been trying to figure out for years.”
But the question isn’t just about students. It’s about teams. It’s about parenting. It’s about life.
How do you challenge people to grow—without pushing them into burnout?
How do you keep showing up—even when people criticize you for doing the hard thing?
You Will Not Be Everyone’s Cup of Tea
The more public you are, the more feedback you’ll get. Some of it helpful. Some of it harmful. Some of it just noise.
You can either:
Ignore it completely.
Internalize all of it, good and bad (not advised).
Or find a third way…Let it inform you, but not define you.
Where you stay open enough to grow—but grounded enough not to let it break you. If you’re trying to be everyone’s favorite, you’re probably not being yourself. You’re watering down your edge. Your convictions. Your values.
Let’s say you walk into a room of 10 random strangers:
2 will love you immediately.
2 can’t stand you.
6 are undecided.
I’d rather be real and have 5 people love what I do than fake it and try to win over 8 with a version of me that’s not even real.
Authenticity Requires Courage
And courage sometimes means accepting that if you’re not getting a few “Very Unsatisfactory” reviews…
You may not be pushing hard enough. You may not be doing work that matters. You may not be growing by challenging those around you.
So yeah—I got one “Very Unsatisfactory.”
It stung. But five semesters of teaching have taught me something important: The class that pleases everyone probably challenges no one. The same can go for leadership.
So that’s the professor and leader I want to be. Not universally loved, but deeply impactful. I’m proud of this semester. And that one review? It’s just a reminder that I’m on the right track.
Great sales and marketing tactics often rely on two things: scarcity and timing.
If something is limited, we instinctively want it more. “Only 3 left in stock” or “Offer ends soon” triggers a fear of missing out. Scarcity creates urgency—and urgency sells.
It also raises perceived value. Basic supply and demand economics: the scarcer a resource, the more someone is willing to pay for it. That gap between what a buyer is willing to pay and what the seller accepts? That’s consumer surplus. And companies leverage this principle strategically to maximize profits. Some even destroy unsold goods to maintain scarcity—preserving brand status and pricing power.
Take the Hermès Birkin bag. Functionally, it’s just a handbag. But it sells for $30,000–$500,000 in today’s market. Why? You can’t just buy one—you have to be chosen. Buying a Ferrari can be the same. Scarcity and exclusivity drive the price, not the product. Luxury brands have mastered this psychological lever.
Consumers often buy for three reasons:
Functional – What the product does
Emotional – How it makes them feel
Social – How it makes them look or seem
The strongest brands sell the emotional and social story.
You’re not buying a Rolex to tell time. You’re buying the story of success, legacy, and admiration.
The Scarcity Mindset
These same psychological triggers that drive consumer behavior don’t just affect our purchasing decisions—they can fundamentally shape how we lead and live.
Scarcity mindset tells us there’s not enough to go around—money, success, love, recognition. If someone else is winning, it must mean you’re losing.
That mindset leads to hoarding—of resources, knowledge, and opportunities. It’s pulling the ladder up behind you once you’ve climbed it.
We see this play out all the time:
Wealthy neighborhoods opposing new development to preserve and raise home values.
Leaders avoiding hiring talented people out of fear they’ll be outshined.
Managers who micromanage because “no one can do it as well as I can.”
It even delays innovation. “The market’s too crowded” becomes the excuse for inaction.
Scarcity doesn’t just limit decisions—it shrinks your world.
The Abundance Mindset
The antidote is abundance.
An abundance mindset says there’s enough opportunity, growth, and progress for everyone. Helping others doesn’t subtract value—it multiplies it.
Worried someone might steal your idea? That’s scarcity creeping in. Execution, not the idea, is what builds great companies and brands.
Leaders with an abundance mindset:
Celebrate wins that aren’t theirs.
Hire up, not down.
Share freely, not fearfully.
Create environments where collaboration trumps competition.
Invest time in developing others without expecting immediate returns.
Mentors and leaders should model this. Help others openly. Celebrate success to spotlight others, not yourself. That’s when you stop manufacturing perceived value through exclusivity—and start creating real value through trust, generosity, and shared impact.
Shifting from Scarcity to Abundance
Here’s how to shift your mindset:
Audit your defaults
Notice when you’re triggered by others’ success. Do you feel resentment or jealousy? Do you struggle to be happy for a peer’s promotion? Those are signs scarcity is driving.
Reframe wants vs. needs
Scarcity tricks us into thinking wants are needs. Once you have the thing you thought would change your life, its value often vanishes. Gratitude resets this frame. Remind yourself you may already have what truly matters—health, family, love, purpose.
Recognize others
When team members succeed, see it as expanding the organization’s capabilities rather than threatening your position. Reframe competitive situations as opportunities for collective growth. Acknowledge that innovation and success aren’t finite resources—they multiply when shared.
Practice generosity
Ask: “How can I create value for others today?” Volunteer. Mentor. Teach. That’s why I teach—it’s not just a paycheck. It’s a chance to give knowledge, grow future leaders, and multiply impact.
Surround yourself with builders.
Scarcity thinkers drain you. Abundance thinkers spark you. One takes. The other creates. Choose wisely who you let influence your mindset and organizational culture.
The same psychological trick that convinces you to spend money on things you don’t need is the same one whispering that opportunity is scarce.
But it’s a lie. The pie isn’t fixed. And even if it were, we could still create more.
So the real question is this:
Are you playing the gameto take? Or to build, give, and grow?
In leadership, as in life, those who approach the world with abundance create legacies that extend far beyond their individual achievements. And that kind of leadership is contagious.
I read a book recently that completely blew my mind. Okay—technically, I listened to it. But it was only an hour and twenty minutes on audiobook. Most podcasts I listen to are longer than that, so I gave it a shot. Then I listened to it again. Then I told Jackie to listen to it. Now we both want our son to hear it too.
Why? Because it was written by a 14-year-old named Cole Summers.
The book is called Don’t Tell Me I Can’t, and it completely shattered my frame for what kids—and honestly, anyone—are capable of. It reminded me of stories from Japan about kids taking the subway alone, or stories from earlier generations starting work in a factory at age ten. This book made me want to add it to the required reading list for my entrepreneurship students.
The lessons aren’t groundbreaking—but the stories are. Cole bought his first truck at age 8, even though he couldn’t drive it. He bought and renovated a house at 10. He taught himself lessons from Warren Buffett on YouTube. The takeaway isn’t just about entrepreneurship—it’s about excuses. College students tell me all the time about why they can’t do something. Cole’s life makes those excuses feel pretty thin.
It’s not just what is said—it’s who it’s coming from.
Discomfort
I injured my arm recently. I wish I had a cool story, like not tapping in a jiu-jitsu match or throwing heat at my son’s baseball game.
But no—I was raking leaves in the backyard.
Now I’ve got elbow pain, random aches, and a receding hairline to match. Aging is a cruel tradeoff: just when your health becomes more important, it gets harder to maintain. In high school, you could eat garbage and still gain muscle. In college, a hangover took one Advil and a breakfast taco. Now? A late night out feels like you need a three-day recovery plan.
So if health matters more as we age… why is it so easy to let it slip?
Because we crave comfort. And the more we indulge in it, the more it bleeds into everything we do.
Seeking Discomfort
The more you seek comfort, the more it starts to define your baseline.
Comfort becomes the standard. Discomfort becomes the enemy. And slowly, laziness creeps in—masked as efficiency or “taking it easy.”
It’s like food. The tastier it is, the worse it probably is for you. Comfort works the same way.
But here’s the truth: being comfortable with discomfort is a skill.
It’s not natural. It’s trained. Like brushing your teeth, it becomes automatic—ifyou build the habit.
I’ve seen it in myself recently. Since the arm injury, I haven’t trained jiu-jitsu in weeks. My gym routine is off do to limitations with certain exercises. I’m leaving early. Not tracking my protein. Skipping vitamins. Drinking way too much caffeine. None of these are huge failures—but they stack up.
Its death by a thousand cuts. And before you know it, you’re staring up at a bigger mountain than when you started.
Shock the System
When I feel myself slipping, I don’t try to ease back in. I hit the reset button. I shock the system.
Here are a few ways I do it—feel free to steal them.
Physical Resets
Cold Plunge: Nothing resets your nervous system like cold water. Even regulars dread it. That’s the point. Discomfort, practiced.
1–2 Hour Ruck/Run/Hike: I used to do this every Sunday at 5am. I need to start again. Moving for an hour+ in Zone 2 heart rate gets your mind right for the rest of the week.
Camping: Sleep outside. It’s not luxurious. It’s dirty. You won’t sleep great. But nature has a way of resetting your energy and drive.
New Workout Class: Yoga, CrossFit, Pilates, bootcamp—doesn’t matter. A new group, new challenge, and movement you’re not used to snaps your brain out of autopilot.
Mental Resets
72-Hour Fast: Yes, it’s physical, but mostly it’s mental. No food for three days forces discipline. Your body gets a break; your mind gets sharper. I try to do 3–4 a year.’Tip: Do it with friends to commiserate with. Also, plan the fast to end Friday dinner. It’s better to have work to take your mind off of not eating than to watch your family eat all weekend.
Read a Whole Book in a Weekend: Pick a non-fiction book and finish it cover to cover. It’s amazing how much momentum this creates. It’s better than scrolling on your phone.
Wake Up at 4:30am for a Week: You jump out of bed to catch a flight—The pain of missing a flight is so great, the snooze is out of question. Pretend eveyrday that the pain of not getting up will be higher than the pain of sleeping in. Early mornings force intentionality.
Social Media Detox: Delete the apps for a week. They aren’t helping. Every scroll is time stolen from something meaningful. Reclaim it.
Final Thought
As I wrote in The Motivation Factor, motivation needs momentum. And when momentum stalls, sometimes you don’t need a gentle push—you need a jolt.
Know your own signs. Watch for the creep of comfort. And when it shows up?Shock the system.
A recent insight I heard on a podcast has been noodling around in my brain:
The things we admire in other people are actually our own strengths. And the things that annoy us most? They’re often our weaknesses.
I think this idea is psychologically grounding in a way that forces self-reflection. It made me ask:
What traits or values do I truly admire in others?
And what’s the difference between admiration and envy?
Is envy just admiration turned into resentment?
The traits we notice most in others—good or bad—are probably mirrors. They reflect, on a subconscious level, aspects of ourselves: strengths that lie dormant, or unresolved insecurities that haven’t been addressed. Admiration shows you what’s possible. Annoyance shows you what you avoid.
Admiration
Ever watched someone do something better than you and, instead of saying “Screw them,” felt drawn to it? Felt inspired? That’s admiration. It’s not envy. It’s resonance.
For example, I admire bold speakers. Not because I’m a bad one—in fact, I think public speaking is one of my strengths. But when I see someone really command a room, I don’t feel threatened. I feel fired up. I want to get better too.
Admiration can be a compass—it pulls you toward your better self.
Who I Admire
Once I understood that admiration reflects the values I aspire to, I made a list. Here’s who I admire—and why:
Scott is a NYU professor and successful entrepreneur turned media machine. I don’t always agree with him (which might be the most common compliment he gets), but I respect his boldness, his clarity in speaking truth, and his ability to challenge norms. His writing in No Mercy/No Malice is crisp and unapologetic. He commands attention with stats, sarcasm, and substance. I admire him so much I named my own writing outlet The Prof Z Project as a nod to his Prof G Pod.
I’ve been a fan sinceThe 4-Hour Workweek published almost 20 years ago. Tim lives in frameworks. He experiments on himself and lives with intention. His systems thinking encouraged me to build my own tools and templates. He’s a reminder that life can be designed, not defaulted.
A fellow West Pointer, veteran, UT professor, and Austinite. Joseph is humble, mission-driven, and always building up others. I admire how he lifts people around him while getting sh*t done. I see his path as a version of what I hope mine evolves into.
Chris has a quiet intensity and deep curiosity. He packages intellectual insights in short, powerful maxims. That’s how I think too—I latch onto ideas and try to make them my own. He makes learning accessible, and I admire that as an educator.
A walking embodiment of discipline equals freedom. He’s not pretending. He lives it. That level of consistency and authenticity is rare. I like to think I’m disciplined—but watching Jocko reminds me there’s still another gear.
These people all operate with clarity, courage, and conviction. They run their lives like a well-designed system—and they scale their insight into action. That’s what I want to be known for too.
They’re not perfect. But perfect isn’t the goal.
Perfect means you’re done.
And I’m not done.
What Annoys Me (and Why It Matters)
Let me be brief, because I don’t like dwelling on the negative. But these irritations are signals. They help me understand my boundaries, my values—and maybe even the traps I want to avoid falling into.
• The need for extreme control or power
I value flexibility and earned influence, not dominance. I also value results. Getting things done without controlling everything—that’s impressive. With enough resources, anyone can eliminate risk. But doing something meaningful when you don’t hold all the strings? That’s leadership.
• People who are always unhappy
I believe happiness is largely a choice. I’m not talking about clinical depression or mental illness here—those are real, and they deserve support. I also recognize that genuine hardship and systemic challenges can create real barriers to people’s wellbeing. But for most people, most of the time, happiness is a perspective. A mindset. And a decision. If your subconscious goal is to be unhappy, you’ll find reasons to be. But the same is true the other way. I build systems to keep that perspective top of mind. Abundance is real—but you have to choose to see it, even when circumstances make that choice more difficult. Life is not supposed to be easy, but you can make the best of it while you’re here.
• People who are fake or manipulative
This behavior feels dishonest. Yes, we all “play roles” at work or with strangers. But I’m talking about something deeper—when someone pretends to be someone they’re not in order to take. I prize genuine, earned trust. And I work in spaces (corporate, academia) where masks are common—so I may be especially sensitive to this. What bothers me most is seeing inauthenticity used as a tool to gain advantage rather than as a shield for vulnerability. True influence, in my view, comes from substance and genuine connection, not performance.
Mirrors
These annoyances might just be guardrails I set for myself:
I avoid becoming controlling by leaning into systems, openness, and adaptability.
I avoid emotional fragility by separating actions and tasks from feeling.
I avoid manipulation by surrounding myself with people who are real.
Both admiration and annoyance are mirrors.
What you admire is your aspirational self.
What you resent may be where your values are violated.
Try This
Do the honest audit for yourself:
Who do you admire, and why?
What does it say about the person you want to become?
What behaviors bother you?
What do they reveal about what you need to protect—or improve?
The world and what we are drawn to reflects who we are. We just might learn something if we pay attention.
Saying no is hard. Especially for high achievers, leaders, and people pleasers.
Sometimes it’s not bad ideas we struggle with—it’s great opportunities that arrive at the wrong time. Saying no to those? That takes courage.
We spread ourselves thin chasing too many good things, often in service of someone else’s priorities. In my Big Rocksarticle, I shared a mental model: start by identifying the 3–4 things that matter most in your life—your big rocks. Then add a few medium rocks—important but secondary—as long as they don’t crush your big ones.
But what about the rest? What about the rocks that don’t fit in the jar—opportunities that seem exciting but just miss the cut?
“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.” – Steve Jobs
You can’t do everything. At least not all at once. And you shouldn’t pretend you can. That’s why I use a Stop-Doing List—a system to track what I’m intentionally not doing right now so I can protect what matters most.
The Stop-Doing List
High achievers live by to-do lists. But most lists grow faster than we can finish them. For Type-A executors, the calendar is sacred. But is everything we cross off actually important?
Here’s the counterintuitive productivity hack that changed how I work: I stopped focusing only on what to do—and got clear on what to stop doing.
It takes discipline. But constraints force focus. Here are some things on my own stop-doing list:
Checking email first thing in the morningThere’s nothing in my inbox that’s going to fire me up for the day. Email puts me into reaction mode. I’d rather start with intention and build around my big rocks.
Overhelping people who aren’t putting in the effortI’ll show up if you’re showing up. Otherwise, it’s a one-sided investment.
Saying yes out of guiltSaying yes is easy. Saying no takes courage. But when I overcommit and can’t follow through, that’s worse than a polite no. Integrity means saying no when you know you should.
Taking calls from unknown numbersIf it’s important, they’ll leave a message or text. Otherwise, it’s noise.
Starting the day without a #1 priorityA full calendar doesn’t mean you’re doing what matters. Every day needs a clear win. Ask: “What does success look like today?” Everything else is bonus.
Trying to help people who don’t want helpIf you’re dragging someone instead of coaching them, you’re stealing energy from the people who are ready. A manager is not responsible for their people’s growth and development. They are, however, responsible for providing the opportunities to grow and enabling that development. It is on the individuals themselves to find their path in development.
Scrolling instead of readingThis one’s tough. Apps are addictive. But scrolling feels like rest—it isn’t. I’m sacrificing real learning for digital dopamine.
Overbooking my schedule with no bufferStartups plan for runway. So should your calendar. White space isn’t wasted—it’s where deep thinking, strategy, and recovery happen.
The F.O.C.U.S. Framework
My list isn’t your list. But if you want to make real progress—not just stay busy—you need to get clear on what you’re saying no to.
Here’s a simple 5-step framework to help:
F — Filter: Audit your day
Watch how you actually spend your time. Every meeting, message, and task.
Ask: Does this align with my big rocks—or is it just noise?
Prompt: What are 3 things you did yesterday that didn’t move one of your big rocks?
O — Organize your rocks: Know what matters
Before you cut anything, name your top 3–4 life priorities. Family? Health? Building a company? Teaching?
Prompt: What are the 3–4 things you want to build your life around?
C — Cost: Count the tradeoffs
Every yes costs you something. Time, focus, energy. Also ask: What’s the cost of NOT doing this?
Prompt: What could you do more of if you stopped doing these 3 things?
U — Upgrade: Replace distractions with traction
Stopping something is only half the job. Fill that time with something that feeds your priorities.
Prompt: What high-impact activity will I do more of once I stop this?
S — Scan: Review and reset regularly
Priorities shift. What mattered last season might be noise now. Revisit your Stop List monthly or quarterly.
Prompt: What did I say yes to recently that I now regret?
Final Thoughts
Your Stop-Doing List isn’t just another productivity tool—it’s the foundation that makes everything else possible. It’s not about being harsh or inflexible—it’s about being intentional with your most valuable resource: your time.
Saying no isn’t a weakness or a failure. It’s how you make space for what actually matters. It’s how you honor your deepest commitments rather than getting lost in the urgent but unimportant.
Your clarity about what you won’t do becomes the shield that protects what you must do.
It’s the first of the month, and in my family, that means one thing: Rabbit, Rabbit.
The tradition is simple—on the first day of each month, the first words out of your mouth should be “Rabbit, Rabbit.” If you do, you’ll have good luck for the rest of the month. Do I remember to say it every time? Of course not. But if something goes sideways the month I forget? You better believe I’m blaming it on forgetting.
We even say it instead of “Happy New Year” at midnight. It’s a ridiculous superstition, I know. But it gives me hope. It gives me a mindset that, at least for the next 30 days, something good is coming.
Why We Love Superstitions
Don’t walk under a ladder. Don’t let a black cat cross your path. Knock on wood. Hold your breath past a graveyard. Humans have always relied on rituals, omens, and little traditions to try to nudge fate in our favor.
We want to believe there are forces beyond us—some mysterious external variable that determines how things go. But the truth is usually simpler: most of our “luck” is within our control.
As the Stoic philosopher Seneca once said:
“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”
You can’t control when opportunity shows up. But you can control how ready you are when it does.
Luck as a Skill
Most people treat luck like a genetic trait—some people have it, some don’t. But what if we treated luck like a skill?
Just like attitude isn’t fixed (as I wrote in Attitude), luck can be trained too. It’s not a force you sit around waiting for—it’s a function of your daily habits, mindset, risk tolerance, and your ability to recognize opportunities when they show up.
People sometimes assume I got lucky. A great job at Apple. A teaching gig at a top business school like McCombs. And sure, maybe I said “Rabbit, Rabbit” those months I got accepted. But looking back—those dots didn’t connect by chance. Steve Jobs once said:
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust the dots will somehow connect in your future.”
Trust is important. But so is being the one drawing the dots in the first place.
Rabbit Rabbit as Mindset
Maybe saying “Rabbit, Rabbit” doesn’t actually affect the universe. But maybe it sets my mindset. A signal to my brain that good things are coming.
Like when you buy a new pair of shoes and suddenly notice everyone else wearing them. The world didn’t change—you just started paying attention. That’s what mindset does.
If you believe you only have bad luck, that’s all you’ll see. But if you believe good things are coming, you’ll start spotting the cracks of light.
We all need something to reset us. A little ritual. A superstition. A routine. Not because it changes fate—but because it changes us. It changes how we show up.
Even in hard seasons—when we’re in pain, grieving, or stuck—what we feed grows. If you feed despair, it deepens. If you feed hope, it builds.
At the end of the day, we all need hope. We need fresh starts. We need to believe that good things are still possible—and maybe just around the corner.
Hope shouldn’t be the plan. But it’s a damn good place to start.
For a fun experiment in my class, I decided to build a web app.
The idea was simple: simulate a startup investment environment where students acted as investors, allocating virtual dollars to different class startup ideas as each team presented.
I used a no-code platform called Bubble.io, and to my surprise, it was shockingly easy to get started. A few bugs showed up during rollout—because of course they did—but overall, the app worked. Students invested. Startups rose (or fell) based on how much capital they attracted.
During the session, one of my students asked a smart question:
“How do you actually justify your company’s valuation and the equity you’re offering?”
That gave me an idea: what if the app could help students calculate valuations too? So I kept building.
I created a valuation calculator that let users input some basic assumptions: 3-year projected profits, revenue multiple, discount rate, expected years to exit, investment amount, and target equity offer. The calculator then generated:
Future valuation
Discounted present valuation
Implied equity percentage
Target valuation based on the offer
Valuation Calculator
If that sounds like Greek to you—you’re not alone. It did to me a bit too… until I started building. And like any good project, solving one problem uncovered another:
“How do I know what multiple or discount rate to use?”
Good question. That led me to add industry-specific multiples (based on the startup’s sector) and a risk assessment tool to suggest an appropriate discount rate based on the deal’s perceived risk. Through this process, I now have a greater understanding of these concepts and the math behind it.
Build to Learn
All of this reminded me of an important lesson:
If you want to truly learn something, build it.
Teaching is a powerful way to deepen knowledge. But building forces you to wrestle with real constraints, expose your blind spots, and discover what you don’t know.
I first learned this early in my career. My first job after the Army was at a small company called Mangan Software Solutions. We were trying to replace old paper processes used by functional safety experts with a digital solution—a field I knew absolutely nothing about.
One of my first assignments? Design a feature that replicated our customer’s manual paperbased safety override procedure. I had no prior expertise or understanding of safety overrides, just a stack of client documents and a deadline.
I dove in—reading everything I could, sketching workflows, and mocking up prototypes. Within a week, I presented a working model that the client loved. We built it, tested it, and shipped it.
It wasn’t just a product win—it was my first real taste of a deeper truth:
The more you build, the more you understand.
That continued throughout my seven years there, building feature after feature until I knew the industry better than many of our clients. Not just what the software did, but why it mattered.
The same pattern has repeated itself during my 2.5 years as a professor. Building content, frameworks, and tools has deepened my understanding far beyond what teaching alone ever could.
The Work Archetypes
As I reflected on the students’ questions and my own learning journey, it struck me again how differently people approach work. Over the years, I’ve come to believe there are four primary work archetypes:
1. The Builder
I’m a Builder. While my degree says “engineer,” I’ve never been an engineer by trade. But I love to build—whether it’s the Prof Z Resource Library, my website, new apps, or system workflows to make processes smoother.
Builders execute. They ship. They refine. They scale.
You’ll often find Builders in roles like:
Product Managers
Engineers or Developers
Project Managers
Operations Managers
But Builders don’t always generate the ideas. For that, they rely on…
2. The Poet / Visionary
Visionaries are the spark. They constantly ask: “What if the world looked different?”
They’re ideators, storytellers, brand builders, and status quo challengers.
Common roles:
Creative Directors
Brand Strategists
Designers
Marketers
Visionaries inspire others to follow—but often need help creating a roadmap.
That’s where they lean on…
3. The Strategist
Once there’s a vision, Strategists get to work: “How do we actually make this happen?”
Strategists see risks, map dependencies, prioritize ruthlessly, and find leverage points.
You’ll often find Strategists as:
BizOps Leaders
CFOs
Corporate Development Leads
Product Strategists
They’re the chess masters—always thinking five moves ahead.
But strategy without execution is just theory, so they partner closely with…
4. The Connector / Operator
Connectors are the glue. They’re natural networkers who get people aligned and moving together.
Connectors shine at talent spotting, building relationships, boosting morale, and influencing even without formal authority
You’ll find them as:
COOs
Chiefs of Staff
HR Leaders
Sales Executives
They are the culture architects—building the teams that build the dream.
Archetype Audit: Find Yours
Wondering which archetype you are? Here’s a simple audit:
1. Audit your energy, not your skills.
What work energizes you—where you lose track of time? You might have skillsin coding, but if you dread opening your laptop, you might not actually be a Builder.
2. Watch your default under stress.
When the pressure’s on:
Builders double down on tasks.
Visionaries dream up new paths.
Strategists obsess over the plan.
Connectors bring in allies.
3. Be honest about what you avoid.
Avoidance reveals truth:
Builders avoid endless brainstorming.
Visionaries avoid repetitive execution.
Strategists avoid emotional decisions.
Connectors avoid transactional work.
Where you hesitate points to where you thrive.
4. Ask someone you trust.
We’re often blind to our own tendencies. Ask a peer, manager, spouse, or mentor:
“When I’m at my best, what am I usually doing?”
Their answer will tell you more than any self-assessment quiz ever will.
Final Thought
I don’t expect my app to become a commercial product. That wasn’t the point. But that’s how a lot of great products actually start:
Someone builds something they needed—and discovers others need it too.
If you’re interested in startup valuation, check it out and let me know how it could be better:
Success doesn’t just come from talent or luck. Those help—but they aren’t the whole story. In both business and life, the most overlooked force behind outsized outcomes is something else entirely: Connection.
Robert Metcalfe, the Turing Award-winning inventor of Ethernet and professor at the University of Texas at Austin, gave us a law that explains why. Metcalfe’s Law states that the value of a network grows with the square of its users (n2). In plain English: every new participant doesn’t just add value—they multiply it.
Now here’s the twist: network effects aren’t just for billion-dollar businesses. They can apply to your life too.
What Is a Network?
Every part of your life is a network.
The language you speak connects you to a cultural network.
The university you attend plugs you into an alumni network.
Your job, your gym, your church, your kids’ school—all networks.
And in each one, you’re a node. A connector. A potential multiplier of value.
At the core of every network are two things:
Nodes (people or systems)
Links (the stuff that connects them—ideas, money, trust, attention)
The more nodes and the more meaningful links, the more powerful the network.
What Makes a Company Defensible
According to NfX, there are four core ways companies defend themselves from competitors:
Brand – Emotional moats that create loyalty and belief (think Nike, Apple).
Embeddedness – High switching costs (like Salesforce or Oracle).
Scale – Bigger companies get cheaper unit economics as they grow, considered economies of scale (Walmart and Amazon)
Network Effects – Every new user adds value for everyone else, directly or indirectly.
And there are several types of Network Effects:
Physical & Protocol: The original network effects—landlines, Ethernet, the internet.
Personal Networks: Social platforms like Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp.
Marketplaces: Amazon, eBay. More buyers attract more sellers, and vice versa.
Platforms: Operating systems that bring develops and users together like iOS, Android, or gaming systems like Xbox and PlayStation.
Data Networks: More users = better data = better product (think Google, Waze, Yelp).
Social/Tribal: Fandoms, language, shared beliefs, and the psychology of FOMO.
These network effects create flywheels. The more people join, the better the experience gets—for everyone.
How to Build Personal Network Effects
Now let’s see how this concept can work in your personal life too. Because this isn’t just a business concept—it’s a blueprint for building a better life.
Here’s your personal network effect playbook:
Be a Node, Not Just NoisePut things into the world that connect—ideas, help, support, value. Don’t just take from others. Build.
Connect with HubsSpend time with highly connected people. Find rooms where serendipity can do its job. If everyone around you knows the same people, your network isn’t expanding.
Create Value LoopsIntroduce people. Share insights. Help someone get a job or raise money. Give more than you take.
Join Real PlatformsNot just LinkedIn or Twitter. Join ecosystems—alumni events, jiu-jitsu gyms, community meetups, church groups. Show up where the real relationships are created and sustained.
Embed Yourself—but Not ForeverBecome so useful you’re hard to ignore—but don’t hoard your role or over engineering your work for job security as that will also get you stuck. If you’re truly valuable, work yourself out of your job so you can go on to do more. That’s growth.
The Network Effect Is a Relection
Your network reflects your value.
If you’re generous with your ideas, others will be generous back.
If you help others rise, they’ll help you when it’s your turn.
If you’re generous with your ideas, introductions, and support, those things flow back to you. As I wrote in Network as a Service Mindset, give first—before you ask. The network effect works the same way. It’s not transactional. It’s reciprocal. Your relationships, reputation, and reach will grow faster when you’re creating value for others.
Look at your life:
Who shows up for you?
What doors open?
How fast do things happen?
That’s not luck. It’s often the compound interest of generosity, trust, and reputation.
Don’t just build a resume. Build a network that reflects the impact you make.
You can have the best product, the strongest team, the sharpest strategy—but if you can’t tell a compelling story, none of it matters.
Because stories sell. They have for the history of mankind. For our modern business world, storytelling as a skill set can help you:
Attract talent.
Raise capital.
Build trust.
Scale ideas.
The best entrepreneurs don’t just pitch—they narrate. They turn products into brand people identity with. The story they tell themselves.
And the truth is, you don’t need to be a natural-born storyteller. Like any other leadership skill, it’s trainable. You just need the right tools.
Here are 10 storytelling frameworks every builder, founder, and leader should have in their back pocket.
1. The Hero’s Journey
We’re hardwired for this one. A relatable protagonist overcomes struggle, transforms, and returns changed.
Describing your own founder journey, your customer’s transformation, or your product’s origin.
2. The Before/After Bridge
People buy outcomes, not features. Selling change—especially in product demos or investor decks.
Structure:
Before: “Here’s the pain.”
After: “Here’s the paradise.”
Bridge: “Here’s how we get you there.”
3. Problem → Agitation → Solution (PAS)/
This type of storytelling triggers emotional urgency. You can use this when you are writing marketing copy or opening a pitch.
Structure:
Problem: “Managing subscriptions is a mess.”
Agitate: “You’re overpaying, missing cancellations, and getting nickel-and-dimed.”
Solution: “Our dashboard solves all of that with one click.”
4. The 5 Whys
To help peel back the surface to find root motivation, sometimes all you need to do is just keep asking why.
you can use this when you are doing customer discovery or refining your mission.
Example:
“Why do you want to build this?”
“To help people manage stress.”
“Why?”
“Because I’ve struggled with it myself…”
And so on.
5. Jobs to Be Done (JTBD)
Customers don’t buy products. They hire solutions. You don’t buy a quarter inch drill bit, you hire a the drill bit because you need a quarter inch hole. He hire a types of products and services to do a job for us.
Crafting messaging or understanding real-world use cases can help other people realize why they should hire your product to get the the right job done.
6. The Pixar Formula
It’s tight, emotional, and familiar. When explaining your startup’s journey or a customer case study, try the format that Pixar has perfected.
Structure:
“Once upon a time… Every day… Until one day… Because of that… Because of that… Until finally…”
7. Contrast Framing
Why it works: The brain processes differences better than features.
Use it when: Making your product stand out.
Example: “Unlike clunky enterprise software, ours is built for speed. Think Slack, not Salesforce.”
8. High-Stakes Stakes
People only act when something’s at risk. Fundraising, closing deals, or rallying teams all need the people involved to know what is at stake, otherwise they won’t care.
Ask: “What’s at stake if we don’t act?”
Make it visceral.
9. Analogy & Metaphor
It compresses complexity, but people overuse it—be original when you can.
A story using a metaphor can be helpful when explaining technical solutions or abstract ideas.
Example: “We’re the Airbnb for office space.
10. Founder’s Mythology
People don’t just buy what you do—they buy why you do it.
When you’re building a brand, culture, or cult-like following, you need to create a legend behind the brand.
Example: Jobs had the garage. Musk had the Zip2 payout. What’s your origin story?
Storytelling is important
Storytelling isn’t fluff. It’s the transmission mechanism for everything that matters in business—vision, values, persuasion, and purpose.
When you get it right, your message sticks. Your mission spreads. And your brand becomes more than just a logo.
So next time you pitch, sell, lead, or launch—don’t just share what you do.
